S.A.D. more like S.B.R.T.H. (Stupid brain ruining the holidays)

S.A.D. has struck! I was truly hoping to avoid this year, well really I hope to avoid EVERY year! I hate it so much!!!!! Oh I guess I should explain what S.A.D. is, might be helpful. S.A.D. stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder, it ‘s a form a depression that strikes from fall through to Spring. You don’t have to have depression normally to get hit with S.A.D. or “The Winter Blues”. No this type of depression can pick on anyone. However if you have a history with depression you are a prime target. Pretty shitty right? Like oh you haven’t had to battle your demons enough this year so WHAM here’s some more! Sorry I’m in a mood, I fully blame S.A.D. No one can quite pin down the exact cause of S.A.D., however there are a few things that they have linked to what could trigger it. Lack of sunlight, this is a big one for me… which I found strange because I love a good overcast rainy day. However multiple overcast rainy days does consume me so yeah I need my sun shine like I need clean air to breath. Plus sunlight helps with serotonin levels when those drop so does the mental health. Charlie has the hardest time with the less sunlight, he doesn’t fall into a depression, but he hates coming home from work when it is pitch black outside. He feels like he is robbed. I don’t blame him really, he works inside all day with no windows, he goes in when it’s dark and leaves when the sun has set. That sounds like a sick twisted nightmare to me.  OK so enough about the sun.. Let’s talk about how insanely cold the weather can get. I mean I love the Viking blood that pumps through my veins, darn tooting proud to trace my heritage back to those great explores. However that said, I bring shame to my long gone Viking ancestors. I LOATHE bone chilling cold weather! It’s like my body refuses to go out in it. That makes it so I am stuck inside, which I think will hit even harder this year. We have all been stuck inside playing it safe thanks to stupid Covid-19. Now I don’t think stay safe inside is stupid, I think that fact that here in America we are still stuck playing it safe is so frustrating! I have a feeling a lot more people will be facing S.A.D. Demons this year. Getting outside so good for the mind, body, and soul. We need that fresh air, the open space, the feeling of the sun on our bodies. It is a basic human need.

OK so hopefully you have a little insight to what S.A.D. is, and PLEASE if you are struggling with depression PLEASE speak to a health care professional. DO NOT let your ego or someone else’s ego stop you from seeking the help that can help you. No shame in the mental health game!!!

So, yes it has struck me, well not struck, but I feeling it creeping up on me. Oh boy do I feel it, and it is making me MAD!!! Last night I was watching a silly Christmas movie on Lifetime, oh it was so bad, and Charlie was bring a good sport and hanging out with me. I told him all sudden I was pissed off, and I want to throw a hulk fit. He asked why, and I replied “dunno”. Truthfully in the moment I didn’t recognize what was causing me to be so mad. However this morning, whilst I was thinking and trying to solve my own little mystery. I realized It was my body reacting to a dip in those lovely serotonin levels, yes I turn into the she hulk when I get depressed or anxious. Not fun! I hate being mean, and mad. Seriously I wish I could be sweet and happy all the time. Alas I am not wired that way. So now I know it’s setting in, what do I do?!?! My first impulse is to go on a shopping spree, spend all my money on wants and not needs. Yes this is my nasty, toxic way of dealing with mental health. I DO NOT RECCOMEND IT!!!!!!!! So I turn to things that bring my serotonin levels up. Like the smell of Christmas, the sounds of Christmas, and move! Moving your body, raising your heart rate every now and then is good! Whether you exercise (which I need to do) or have a random dance breaks with your kids or self, move your body! I refocus from the things that bring me down this time, like money and wants. Instead of focusing on the fact that I can’t buy all those shiny new toys for the kids, I focus on how to make a memory with them. Cheesy YES, stupid NO! Seriously Echo is 2 1/2 years away from turning 18 and possibly leaving home. This fact terrifies me to my core, and I want make sure I can do all those silly cheesy holiday things with her while I still can. Yes she laughs and rolls her eyes at me, but I don’t care and I know secretly she loves it just as much as I do. Oh also another simple thing that totally brightens my day, I phone a friend 🙂 Well more like I call my Mom and Dad, sisters too. We live a state apart and it SUCKS, but talking to either of them for 30 minutes can totally reset my mood. Heck even writing this blog or word vomit (you pick) has sparked enough joy for me, that I might be able to make it through the day. 

So in conclusion, if you are suddenly not feeling like yourself, know you are not alone and you are normal! Call your doctor, no shame in needing medical help to get you through the “Winter Blues” or life! Talk to a friend, get your body moving, and refocus on to things that make you feel happy. Be aware of what your body and mind need, take care of yourself so you can be there for those who count on you.

And as always GO FIND YOUR YETI!! He or she is out there, we may have to climb mountains or swim across a sea to find it, but it’s out there wanting for you!